The fickle visions
by DisturbingEmily
Summary: Alec's birthday is comming and he's getting more and more gloomy. What's the matter with him? What will Magnus do? Malec, set after COFA. I really suck at summaries, so look inside?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: It's my first fanfiction (that I'm actually posting) and the first written in the past few years, also I'm not an English native speaker, so don't me too harsh?

Also, I want to thank my lovely StarryOwlEyes for catching my mistakes and correcting them. I absolutely love you, hon ;) You do know this story is dedicated to you, don't you?

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><p><em>It was winter. <em>

_"_It's such a irony that I was born on the bone-freezing December night, and here I am always lacking body heat" Thought Alec pressing his forehead against the window, and gazing at snowflakes chasing each other across the Brooklyn street. He shivered, and snuggled deeper into the blankets he was covered with. For the past few weeks he felt gloomy, and even though he tried to pretend everything was alright, his lover saw right through it. "In a week I will be turning twenty-one, in a year twenty-two. A lot of Shadowhunters don't live up to that age. If I became immortal… - He shook his head with exasperation –There's no way… Camille was just a slimy, lying bitch. Magnus looked everywhere for a solution." He sighed, and brushed away strands of his black hair that fell into his eyes. "I should just stop feeling sorry for myself, and appreciate what I have even if for a few years."

Alec was startled at the feeling of thin, long fingers running through his hair, and turned around putting on his fake smile quickly.

"Hi, darling." Magnus smiled gently at his lover, and caressed his cheek. He pressed his lips gently to Alec's, and then proceed to nuzzle his neck. "I missed you."

" You were gone only for a few hours…" The blue-eyed boy mumbled, and put his arms around warlock's waist crushing him to his chest, "But I missed you too."

Magnus raised his head, and his happy smile faltered a little when his green eyes met the clouded, troubled, blue ones. He tried to act as it didn't faze him, but it broke his heart a little every time he saw that look. "So love… What do you want to do for your birthday?" He asked flashing Alec his snow-white grin.

"I don't want to do anything Magnus. I told you already I would rather cuddle on the sofa, and watch TV" The Shadowhunter sighed, and slipped from his boyfriend's embrace. "I'm tired, and in need of sleep. I don't know why but there are always more demons in the winter. I think they are just mean, and want us to freeze our butts off ." He huffed, and Magnus cracked a smile at his cranky tone.

"Well, why don't you sleep now, so that you'll have strength for the fabulous party I'm planning for my favorite Shadowhunter?"

"Magnus. I don't want any party, don't you understand what I'm saying?" The boy glared at the warlock while he pouted.

"But why, darling? You would relax, and you would have time to spend some quality time with your friends while not killing some vile things. And you should celebrate! It's your twenty-first birthday. I mean it's important and… "

"I don't want to celebrate it, okay?" Alec snapped. "I just want some peace, to relax reading book or …"

"But that's so boring." Magnus sighed with exasperation.

"Well then, you got together with a boring person! " The Shadowhunter yelled, and stormed out of bedroom. Magnus flinched when he heard the door slamming behind him. "What the hell did I do wrong this time?"

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><p>**2 hours later**<p>

Alec was sitting on the bench in the Central Park when Magnus found him. The boy was clearly shivering, and trying to heat up a little by rubbing his hand together. Magnus frowned at the pitiful state his lover presented, his posture slumped, and head bowed like he was utterly defeated. The High Warlock crouched in front of him, and looked into his crystal blue orbs.

"I'm so sorry, Mag." Alec whispered, his voice so hoarse it made his lover wince.

"It's okay, baby. Come here." He stood up, and pulled the shivering boy into the hug; rubbing his arms, and back to make him at least a little warmer.

"No, it's not" Alec croaked into his neck, his hands fisting convulsively into his lover's jacket. " I'm sorry I was such an asshole. You just wanted to be nice, and I…"

"Really Alexander, it's alright. I was stubborn, you overreacted, that's all." He thumbed Alec's neck, and pressed his lips to the boy's. He parted them gently with his tongue, and delved inside letting the muscles entwine. When he heard Alec's quiet moan, and felt light tugging on his unspiked hair, he pulled away. He smiled at his boyfriend's flushed face.

"Let's go home. You're gonna catch a cold if you stay outside"

"I _don't deserve him_." Thought Alec following Magnus' lead, and heading home

"Sit down, baby." Magnus covered his shivering boyfriend with few blankets, and conjured hot chocolate from the nearby chocolaterie to help him heat up. He sat in the armchair, and started reading the new spell-book.

"Thank you." Alec whispered as he took the cup gratefully and sipped on sweet liquid , not caring that it was scalding as long as it would warm him up. "Magnus?" He asked uncertainly, looking at the warlock through his long, black lashes.

"Yeah?" He looked up from his book and gazed at his lover

"Can… can you hold me?" Magnus nearly gasped at the insecurity in his lover's voice.

"Of course, baby." He slipped next to Alec who in turn laid his head on the warlock's chest, and clung to him. Magnus started to run his fingers through his black, silky strands, and soon he heard Alec's regular relaxed breathing. Even in sleep his grip on Magnus did not falter.

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><p>Magnus plopped on chair in the Institute's kitchen, and sighed.<p>

"Something is wrong with Alec." He said grimly, chewing on his lower lip

"What? Why? Is he ill?" Izzy scrunched her brows and gazed questionably at the warlock. She haven't seen his brother since their last hunting two days ago, and he seemed fine back then. A little distracted maybe, but fine.

"No, he isn't, but he has been having nightmares. He doesn't remember what he is dreaming about, or just wouldn't tell me, but he is waking screaming every night. During the day he is constantly lost in thought or curled somewhere, and staring blank at whatever is in front of him. I'm really worried Izzy, he doesn't even want to celebrate his birthday." He rubbed his face, and picked at his red nail polish.

"Why? He has always loved his birthday. He became all excited a month before it as a child."

"Well, now his reaction is totally opposite. He flipped yesterday when I insisted on organizing the party, and stormed out without any of his weapons. When I realized that, I started to look for him, but … It's so not Alec to be distracted and careless. He would never go out without at least a blade, especially to the park." Izzy sat down in front of Magnus and squeezed his hand, trying to comfort his friend.

"Don't worry so much Magnus. I'm sure it's just a phase. We all know his mood swings. And as to the party: I'm still organizing it. It's his twenty-first birthday for goodness sake…"

"I don't think it's such a good idea Isabelle. He really overreacted last night, maybe we should just let it go and allow him to do whatever he wants…"

"Which in his case would be reading books about demonology." She scoffed "No way, I won't allow it. Now if you don't mind, I've got to train, I'm getting out of shape. And I'm sure Alec's fine, just in one of his moods." She winked at him and run out of the kitchen.

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><p>Magnus was sitting in his favorite, fluffy armchair reading the spell-book that his warlock friend had brought to him two days ago. He wanted to believe that he will find some clue in this one, he wanted to run to Alec and tell him that he had find the solution and he really can make him immortal. But there wasn't anything that could have helped them in this book, neither was in at least a hundred of others he had already gone through. For the past two years he has been looking desperately for anything that was alternative to vampire turning. And becoming a vampire was not an option. He would rather let Alec go, and suffer an eternity all alone than see his lover loathing what he became, loathing himself.<p>

Magnus was roused out of his thoughts when he heard Alec's keys jingling on the other side of doors. "Speak or rather think of the devil and he shall appear. " Magnus mused, and stood up to greet his boyfriend. The huge smile on his face turned into a frown though when he saw the horrible state his Shadowhunter was in. Alec's shirt was utterly blood-soaked and he wore pained expression.

The warlock rushed to his boyfriend, sat him at the nearest flat surface, and let the blue sparks flow healing the long, deep scratch going across Alec's chest. Once assured that his lover won't bleed out on his doorstep, he sighed, and glared at the Shadowhunter.

"We need to talk, Alec."

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><p>AN: Obviously, it is not finished yet. I'm gonna post the next part in a week or so. If it will be longer, then it's my school's fault.

Tell me what you think about it? *winks*


	2. Chapter 2

A/N:I forgot to do disclaimer last time, so: I don't own anything except my computer and dirty mind, and obviously I do not own TMI.

Again a huge thank you StarryOwlEyes for reading and correcting this for me!

And thank you for all the favourites and alerts, it means a lot to me! Reviews were lovely, I wanted to respond to them, but fanfiction is mean and wouldn't let me…

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><p>"We need to talk Alec"<p>

Alec was startled at his boyfriend's harsh voice; he gazed at him questionably, and sighed tiredly. He was dead on his feet, why couldn't Magnus wait with this talk of his until he had a good night of sleep?

"What is it?" He asked, and picked himself him up from the floor staggering a little.

"Come on Alexander," Magnus caught his hand, tugged him, and led to his bright red couch. When they were both seated, facing each other, he took Alec's hand, and began rubbing small circles with his thumb on his wrist.

"What is going on Alec? It's the second time this week when you're completely battered, and …" He was cut off by Alec's angry rant.

"Are you suggesting that I become worse Shadowhunter? You know, you don't have to heal me. I'm sure the iratze would work just fine through the night if it's such a bother to you." Magnus gaped at the boy.

"You're totally missing the point here."

"Am I?" Alec crossed his arms and glared at his lover. He had enough of this conversation he wanted to curl in bed, and sleep not dreaming anything for once.

"Yes, you are! I'm worried about you Alexander. You're constantly distracted, and not paying attention to the surrounding therefore demons get to you easy. You look depressed, you're not sleeping well, and barely eating anything. Imagine that I'm actually worried about someone who I love when the look like a shadow of themselves. Unbelievable, isn't it?" He snapped, and looked into Alec's crystal blue orbs. Except what he met, were only the long lashes as the Shadowhunter was intently not looking at him, picking up at a hole in his shirt, and chewing his bottom lip nervously. "So tell me Alec am I missing something?" Alec flinched, and mumbled something quietly.

"What was that?"

"I said I'm just tired." He choked, and bit his lip harder. Normally, Magnus would get distracted by the white teeth, and by now would be passionately kissing his boyfriend. However, he would not allow himself to steer off the conversation. Alec was too important.

"Bullshit. It's immortality thing again, isn't it? " The warlock's voice softened, and he caressed the boy's cheek trying to coax some answer from him.

"Of course it's not." He stood up, and turned away from Magnus. "Now if don't mind, I want to take a shower, and wash away this blood."

Magnus gazed at his retreating figure sadly.

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><p>Alec closed the bathroom door, and started to hyperventilate. He slipped down, and tried to calm his breathing. Of course Magnus would get straight to the issue bugging his boyfriend. There was no point denying it, but Alec was ashamed. He was ashamed he was so weak, so vulnerable, it was him who couldn't get a grip on himself, not Magnus who had more reasons to. It was the warlock that would have to bury Alec, and live remembering him, moving on the next lovers. The blue-eyed boy gritted his teeth, and started to tremble. That was the issue that bothered him the most: that Magnus will forget about everything they went through, and find someone better to replace the Shadowhunter with. Alec couldn't stand the idea that some day he could be a nameless, pretty face in Magnus' memory. One of the hundreds of lovers the warlock had. Quiet sob escaped him, and he rubbed angrily at his eyes. He was a Shadowhunter, he ought to be tough, unemotional warrior, not meek wuss, and crying his eyes out on his boyfriend's bathroom's floor.<p>

Alec painstakingly stood up, wincing when his ribs protested. Before the demon scratched him, it threw him into the wall, and now he was paying for his distracted state dearly. He let the hot water flow in the shower, and got in; his muscles relaxing slightly under the warm streaks.

When Magnus came into bedroom, Alec was already lying on his side under the blue covers. He slipped next him, and cradled him in his arms. The boy tensed at first, but when Magnus didn't say anything just pressed his lips lovingly into his neck; and proceed to rub lazy circles on his stomach, he relaxed. When he was at the edge of falling asleep, he thought he heard a quiet "I love you", but before he could reply, the darkness took him.

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><p>The day before Alec's birthday Magnus was once more roused from sleep by his boyfriend's whimpers, and screams.<p>

"Alec, baby, wake up." He shook him, trying to wake him up, to no avail. The Shadowhunter was still trembling, and whimpering disconnected words. "Alec, wake the fuck up!"

Suddenly, Alec's eyes flashed open, and darted around the room wildly. His breathing erratic, he clutched Magnus hand still caught up in his dream. Finally, his gaze focused on his boyfriend, and he let out a quiet whimper, his eyes teary.

"It's okay baby, it's alright, you're alright." He soothed, caressing Alec's wet cheeks. The boy crawled into his arms, face in his neck. "I'm here Alec, everything's gonna be alright." He started to rub his back to calm him down.

"I'm sorry, I woke you up again" Alec said sniffling, still clinging to Magnus like he was the last thing on Earth keeping him sane. "Maybe I should just sleep on the coach till these dreams cease. I don't want to be a burden and…" He was caught off by warlock's lips pressing against his.

"You are never a burden to me." He said between his kisses. "I love you Alec, and I'm here for you whenever you need me, okay? Even if it's in the middle of the night." He thumbed the boy's cheek, and smiled slightly at him.

"Thank you" Alec breathed, hugging his boyfriend close. "I love you too."

"Let's go to sleep now." Magnus laid down cradling his lover protectively in his arms, and waited till he heard Alec's regular breathing. Once he did, he let the sleep finally take him.

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><p>Alec woke up to the smell of pancakes and coffee. "I hope Magnus won't burn the kitchen down." He thought groggily, and snuggled into his boyfriend's pillow. It smelt faintly of vanilla and sulphur which reminded him constantly of his lover. He didn't want to get up nor he cared what time it was. The muscles, and his throat burned – probably a consequence of his nightmare from the night before. "It was the worst I've ever had." He thought absently, and winced as he suddenly remembered the dream in detail: Magnus at the funeral, all in black, not caring about Shadowhunting traditions, honoring the memory of his late lover, others in white, Magnus with other people in bed, then his conversation with Simon, vampire asking if he remembered how they met, his hesitant answer: "At my party, right?", his blank face at daywalker's statement that it was party that he met Alec at and finally Magnus' confused expression, and hesitant and cruel, oh so cruel question: "Who was Alec?".<p>

"Baby, you alright?" Alec was roused out of his thoughts by his lover's concerned voice. He looked up, and saw the warlock standing by the doorway, holding a tray with pancakes with maple syrup and freshly-made coffee on it. Alec nodded while Magnus put the food on the nightstand, and cupped his Shadowhunter's cheek. "You sure? You look haunted." He kissed his forehead, and smiled gently at him. When Alexander nodded again, and gave him small smile, he brightened. "Are you hungry?"

"Yeah, starving actually." Alec took gratefully food his boyfriend prepared, and started to munch on pancakes happily. When he finished, Magnus took the tray away, and scoped a small box from behind him.

"By the way, happy birthday love" He pressed his moist lips to Alec's shortly, and gave him the box. The boy tore off the silver wrapping-paper, and stared at a necklace with green gem in it and delicate silver chain. Alec's was not much of a jewelry person, but the colour of the gem was the exact colour of Magnus' eyes. He looked up at his boyfriend, and saw him nervously biting his lips.

"I love it…" He whispered, gently caressing the yellow-green pendant.

"I'm glad you like it, but it's not an ordinary piece of jewelry." Magnus said while clasping the chain behind Alec's neck. He brushed away his boyfriend's black hair, and kissed his neck gently.

"What do you mean?" Alec scrunched his brows and gazed at warlock questionably.

"It allows me to track you down if you are hurt, or just need me. I can be there for you in a matter of seconds."

"Really? How so" Alec asked his eyes twinkling.

"I've got pendant similar to yours." He showed his lover nearly the same piece of jewelry , except that the gem in that one was sapphire blue. "If you're hurt, the stone will heat up, and then I could trace the other's pendant's magical signature, and get to you. So… do you still like it? When you know what it does?" He asked hesitantly.

"I like it even better now." Alec smiled radiantly, and kissed his warlock with abandon. He slipped his tongue deep inside his lover's mouth, and let to muscles dance together. When they laid down, he didn't break the kiss. He moaned wantonly though, when their nether regions met. Magnus ground his hips into Alec's, and placed open-mouthed kisses on his neck. He sucked at his pulse point, nibbling gently, which caused the boy beneath him to moan breathlessly his name. When the warlock slipped his hand under his boyfriend's T-shirt, and started to tease his sensitive nipples, Alec's phone went off. The Shadowhunter blinked dazedly at the noise, and took the phone from the nightstand.

"It's Jace."

"Get it. Maybe it's important." Magnus said, and rolled of his boyfriend's body.

"What is it Jace?" Alec asked his brother, still breathing heavily.

"Did I interrupt something?" The blonde Shadowhunter sniggered.

"What do you want Jace? " The blue-eyed boy growled, his arousal getting already uncomfortable. He wanted to get back to being beneath Magnus, not talking to Jace.

"Easy, easy. We have some demons to hunt, near the Brooklyn bridge."

"Alright, I'll be at Institute in a few to gear up."

"Okay. And … happy birthday man. It's already your twenty-first, you're getting old dude!"

"That I am" Alec thought, and felt his heart constrict at Jace's remark. "Thanks. Bye" He finally said, and swallowed heavily. "I've got to go Mag, some demons near the Brooklyn bridge." He threw some clothes on quickly.

"Okay baby. Be careful, alright?"

"I will." He promised, and pecked his boyfriend on a cheek. "See you later." He run out of the bedroom while putting on a jacket.

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><p>AN:Review? If you have time to alert or favourite, why don't you tell me what you think about the story?

Reviews motivate!


	3. Chapter 3

_Thank you all for your lovely reviews! They motivate me and bring me smile when I want to break down crying when everything is against me. By the way does anyone know how to fix this thing that doesn't allow me to reply to them? _

_I'm so sorry it took so long to update and it's so short, but school was a bitch and I wanted to give you at least something, because I wouldn't be able to update till Monday (it's _Vivienne Langford_'s fault and her promised free whisky, the party is gonna be epic bb)._

_Anyway, I don't feel like this is my best work, I'm not very pleased with this chapter, I'm tired and the range of my sleep hours for the last two weeks varies from 4 to 1 hour a day, so bear with me? _

_A big cuddly thank you for my lovely beta StarryOwlEyes ::squeezes::, you're the best sugar!_

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><p>The sun was slowly setting, when Jace and Alec were going back home. They were busy all day, without any time to relax. They discovered a nest of Ravener Demons by the Brooklyn Bridge, and spent several hours trying to get rid of the vile creatures. Of course the sneaky little bastard were careful, and disappeared as soon as they sensed the Shadowhunters. The boys were forced to crawl through snow and mud to hunt them all one by one.<p>

Now, after the troublesome job, they were chatting aimlessly, and laughing softly. Alec hasn't felt so carefree in a long time. Even though he was exhausted, covered in mud and ichor, his muscles screaming from the overexertion, the boy felt happy, even cheerful. Alec smiled, comforting weight of the pendant on his chest. He tensed abruptly , his Shadowhunter's senses alerted . He was sure he heard something in the nearby bushes. He stopped Jace, pulling at his arm and tried to focus on the sounds around him.

"What is it,Al…?"

"Hush!" The blue-eyed boy hissed at blond. "I thought I heard something..." Suddenly he noticed something white behind Jace, rushing towards them. "Watch out!" He pushed away his parabati who had stumbled out the Raum Demon's way, and gave the creature perfect opportunity to sink their poisonous, needle-sharp teeth in Alec's body. The blue-eyed boy did not even have a chance to scream ,or raise his blade, he was already on the ground – poison flowing in his veins.

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><p>"Which colour?" Magnus asked Isabelle holding red tablecloth in one hand, and yellow in the other one. The black-haired girl looked lazily from her electric blue, freshly painted nails, and regarded warlock with a thoughtful expression on her face.<p>

"Red one, it'll contrast with the other decorations." She answered, smiling slightly at her brother's boyfriend's antics. "Why are you so stressed, huh?"

"You know why, Isabelle. I told you, Alec doesn't want a party and still you are stuck at…" Suddenly he paled, and clutched his bright blue necklace.

"What is it? Magnus?" She asked impatiently, terrified when she saw fear in the 800-hundred-years old warlock's eyes.

"It's Alec, he's hurt." He breathed and swallowed audibly. "Badly."

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><p>When Magnus arrived at the battle place, the sight of his lover laying in the pool of blood, his parabati simultaneously trying to draw iratze, and pressing buttons on his cell – probably in order to call already present warlock- made him gasp and tremble all over.<p>

"Jace?" The blond Shadowhunter startled at his voice, clearly not paying attention to surroundings, preoccupied with his attempts to save his brother. "He is lucky, I am not another demons." Magnus mused, and kneeled down by his fallen boyfriend.

"What demon was it?" He inquired and started to close the vigorously bleeding wounds.

"Raum Demon." Jace whispered, his eyes a little unfocused, a big bump on head. The warlock sucked in breath, his sparkling hands' trembling increased.

"We need to get him to my apartment as soon as possible. I can't help him while the poison is damaging his body from inside." He stood up and directed his hand at the trees, creating a new portal. "Can you carry him? I have to hold up the magic, for you to get in there."

Jace put his hand under Alec's knees and arms, and scooped him up. The unconscious boy's bloody form looking small and fragile in his parabati's muscular arms. Magnus averted his eyes from the sight. He had to focus;his magic was getting out of control. The fear was gripping him in their clutches,and clouding his judgment and reason.

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><p>Reviews are lovely and bring updates faster!<p>

Your opinions really matter to me!


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I don't own anything.

Thanks to my lovely readers for the wonderful reviews, it really motivated me to work and I really appreciated every one

and I'm sorry for the cliffy, I'm not going to promise it won't happen again though ::wink, wink::

Anyway, I know it's short again, but I wanted to get it up before school, because I'm sure I won't have time for writing during week! So expect new chap. in a week or so !

Also, I think there will be two or one chapter left, don't know yet. And I have a bunch of ideas for new fics: one-shot and three multi-chaptered(one as a sequel to this), so keep an eye out?

Huge thanks to my beta, StarryOwlEyes again, I swear I would have to come to the US and buy you a huge coffee at Starbucks or something for the work you're doing. ::hugs::

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><p>Magnus was slumped in the chair next to the, covered by the indigo sheets, bed. The warlock was anxiously observing his lover's unconscious form for any sign of the boy waking up. It has been two days. Two long, filled with grief, and hope days .<p>

Magnus was getting really worried; Alec's finger didn't even twitch, mumble a word in his sleep, and it had taken hours for him to heal the wounds and extract the demon's poison. He worked to the point of collapsing, and still he wasn't sure he did remove all of the deadly venom. He felt like such a failure, he didn't get to Alec fast enough, he was too weak, and he didn't even know if his precious boyfriend would ever wake up. He was a high warlock for the Lilith, he should have been able to cure theboy with a snap of his fingers. He knew that if it was some other Shadowhunter, he might have been more effective, because he would be calm and collected and would not be shaking all over…

"Magnus stop it." Isabelle's voice cut him off his thoughts. "You did everything you could, stop blaming yourself. I'm sure Alec will be alright in a day or two." She gulped heavily, trying the disguise her need to bawl her eyes out. Under her calm mask, she was a trembling wreck, scared that she'll lose another brother, but she tried not to lose her cool for Magnus' and Jace's sake. She had to be strong, because the warlock did not need to watch her falling apart, he was already extremely guilty and devastated; she didn't want to add fuel to the fire. Jace was even worse; he closed himself in his room, avoiding everyone altogether; even Clary, but still he called every hour to inquire about Alec's state.

Magnus nodded impassively, his eyes not straying from the black-haired boy. He tenderly swept his sleek fingers through Alec's raven-like hair and locked his cat-like orbs on his closed eyes, waiting patiently for them to open. To see those brilliant blue eyes would be heaven – he thought absently, willing his dropping eyelids to stay opened.

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><p><em>Alec had no idea where he was, but he felt warm and comfortable. And he didn't feel the soaring pain anymore; that was a good thing. He opened his brilliant sapphire-blue eyes lazily, and noticed that he was laying on the soft, succulent grass. He smiled at the colorful butterflies flying around him. He felt so carefree, like some heavy burden was lifted from his arms. He has never felt so free and comfy, except for Magnus' arms. "Where is Magnus? " He wondered, but quickly banished the thought and snuggled deeper into the grass and closed his eyes in bliss.<em>

_After some time he stood up, bored and fed up with justlying there. He finally noticed that he was in a forest, and started to wander. He admired the beauty of the place. The exquisite greenness of the trees, the delicate, rosy petals of the wild roses, the sweetness of blueberries – it was all-immaculate."Too immaculate.." Alec mused. _

_Suddenly he came to the bank of the dark, several meter wide river; he couldn't even see the was startled by quiet, filled with anguish whisper of his name, and when he looked up he saw Magnus. But this boy did not look like Alec's Magnus at all. He was wearing only black trousers, there was not an ounce of colour, or glitter on him. From his back grew two dark, tattered, bloodied wings. He was crying silent tears, biting his lip anxiously to the point that it bled; red staining his chin. _

"_Alec… please come back to me." He whispered brokenly, pleading eyes locked on Alec's blue orbs. "Please… I can't go on without you."_

_Alec couldn't watch his love anymore; he took a mouthful of air and jumped into the river, trying to get to the broken angel as fast as he could. _

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><p>Magnus was at the end of his rope. It has been three days, and Alec didn't wake up. Even Isabelle went home to finally get some of much needed sleep, but he couldn't bring himself to lay down and satisfy his body's need for at least few-hours long nap. He didn't think his fifteen –minutes long shuteyes counted.<p>

Alec's erratic breathing suddenly disturbed the annoying, deafening silence of his apartment. Magnus jerked in his chair and thumbed the boy's cheek.

"Alec, Alec baby, can you hear me? Please open these gorgeous blue eyes for me?" He whispered urgently, trying not to fall apart. "C'mon, let me see them, you know you want to…"

Alec's eyes abruptly fluttered open and after few seconds focused on Magnus' face, and locked with the green orbs. "Mag…" He croaked, his voice like sandpaper from not using it for three days. The warlock quickly snapped his fingers and held up a glass of cool water for Alex to drink, which he did hastily. "Baby, why are you crying?" He whispered hoarsely, gazing at his boyfriend confused. He rubbed soothing circles on the warlock's wrist and Magnus quickly wiped his face, and smiled at the boy.

"It's nothing cupcake. How are you feeling? Anything hurts?"

"I think I'm alright, I feel extremely weak, but that's normal, right?" He smiled encouragingly at his boyfriend and motioned for him to climb into the bed.

"Yeah, it is baby. It's from all the magic I had to use to get rid of the demon's poison." He quickly discarded himself of his clothes, so that he stayed only in his red boxers, and slipped under the covers next to the boy hugging him to his chest. He closed his eyes, breathing out with relief. Alec was okay, and that was all that mattered. He didn't even notice when he fell asleep.

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><p>AN:

So what do you think, I'm not really sure about this chap…

Review! I really appreciate them, and they really motivate!


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I'm so, so sorry for the long wait! But the last weeks of school were really difficult for me, and I didn't have time for anything – including sleep, and when I finally had the time my internet broke and I had to wait for my summer holidays to begin so that I would be at my parents' place where I could finally use it and blah, blah you probably don't care, but just know that the last chapter is late, not because I was lazy.

Big thank you with a cherry on top for my beta Madame OwlEyes! Wish her happy birthday, because it's her birthday weekend! And go read her stories, "Tears of the Moon" doesn't get as much love as it deserves!

Please read A/N at the bottom of the page?

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><p>Magnus woke up to the sensation of slim, long, fingers running lazily through his hair. Gentle strokes continued while he sleepily snuggled deeper into the warm, firm body lying next to him, and he nuzzled his face into what seemed to be Alec's chest.<p>

He groggily opened his amber, cat-like eyes, and looked up to see his boyfriend smiling at him tenderly. His full, red, lips begging to be kissed; and his azure eyes twinkling with adoration.

"Hi sleepyhead." Alec whispered gently caressing Magnus' cheek, and gazing at him intently.

"Hello beautiful." The Warlock rested his chin on the blue-eyed Shadowhunter firm chest and sighed blissfully. He could stay like this forever – snuggled up with Alec in their covered by the indigo canopy bed; separated from the outside world, and its intricate, labyrinthine problems. However, some things could not have been forgotten for long; they were nudging and probing so much that subconsciously one had to remember about them, even if one was laying heavenly warm with their angel-like lover on soft mattress and... "So… tell me what happened during the hunt that you did not see the enormous, highly poisonous demon, huh?"

"It snuck up on us." Alec sighed heavily, and had a sense to look sheepish, his Adam's apple bobbing guiltily as he swallowed slowly. "We were tired and I was kind of distracted. I sensed it when it was about to attack and then… Really Mag, never have I seen such fast demon. The only thing I noticed was a white blurred shape and the next thing I knew was pain ripping through me, and then darkness. I guess I blacked out?" He answered unsurely, absently twisting Magnus' black, glitter-free strands around his fingers.

"You are always distracted these days, Alexander" The warlock huffed, his tongue rolling angrily around the "r". "This must end! You have to stop thinking about things that neither you nor I can change for the time being. You have to deal with this stuff, you…"

"I know, baby. I understand now…" The blue-eyed boy tried to break off shyly from his boyfriend's rant.

"You have to..what?" Magnus gazed questionably, his cat-like eyes blinking rapidly.

"I said I understand now." Alec repeated and chuckled seeing his boyfriend's amazed face. The smile scampered off his face quickly though, and he sighed heavily trying to form his wiredrawn thoughts in some logical set of words, he wanted badly to explain to Magnus what he felt, but didn't know how to convey his feelings. He knew though that his lover deserved it after what he has been putting him through for the last few weeks. Alec's whole being was filed with regret and guilt, now he didn't know how he could let these beautiful, green eyes to be so grief-stricken, so terrified. He couldn't imagine why or rather how he could become so selfish, so self-centered. All he was worried about was his life's shortness and leaving Magnus' behind, but ironically because of such desperate thoughts, he hurt the person he loved the most and pushed him away. " I know I've been horrible bastard for the past few weeks…" He started.

"What? No, you haven't been! " Magnus tried to protest, seeing clear self-loathing on his love's face. Alec gave him a pointed glance what made his words stop.

"I know what I've been. There's no point denying that, baby. " The black-haired Shadowhunter answered, rubbing soothingly back of the warlock's neck and tried to smile reassuringly. "And you were completely right about everything… I thought about mortality again, how I will have to leave you behind and that after my d… death there will be others who will outshine me and you will forget all about me, that on the other side I will have to be alone, without you by my side, and Magnus it scares me so much that there will come the time when your place will be empty." Few burning tears finally fell on Alec's face, the stains marring his pale, beautiful features, and Magnus wanted so badly to stop this; to just kiss his angel's agony away, but he couldn't. He had to let Alec speak, the Shadowhunter usually bottled up his emotions – which was neither healthy nor good for either of them – so if he needed to pour them now, Magnus would suffer through it even if it killed him to see such pain in Alec's azure orbs. "Because of that I've been so distracted lately, I became obsessed with the issue and I was so snappy, unstable… I only cared about my needs and I don't know how you put up with me, I hurt you, and still you have never given up on me…"

"Oh Alec, baby. I would never give up on you. I love you too much. I wanted to help you so badly, but you wouldn't let me near you…" Magnus arms tightened around Alec's waist, trying to comfort him.

"S.. Something made me finally realize what a fool I have been, that I've put a wall between us. And I swear I've never wanted to do that Mag. I got lost inside my dark thoughts, and finally this accident made me realize how much I hurt you. I'm so sorry baby. I promise I would stop thinking so much about the immortality and death. I will try to live every day to its fullest, because every day I spend with you is special, and even if I died in a year I still wouldn't regret it, because I got to be with you, to love you, and … and that is the best thing that has happened to me…" Even though Alec kept his eyes throughout his speech trained on the blue canopy, he couldn't help but glance up to see Magnus reaction to his words. And what he had seen was utter adoration and amazement. "I don't want to waste time anymore, timeI can spend with you…"

"Oh Alec…" Magnus hugged the boy tightly to his chest, placing tender kisses on his neck, and inhaling his boyfriend's familiar scent. "I wish I knew how you had felt earlier. I'm so glad you told me about everything. I promise we will make it all work. " He glanced up into Alec's honest, blue eyes and couldn't wait anymore, he smacked his lips to Alec's, pushing his tongue inside his lover's mouth, plundering it while his hands roamed around his whole upper body - abs, chest, shoulders - finally fisting a handful of Alec's onyx, silky hair, and eliciting long moan from his lover. His lust-filled kisses were growing more fierce when he remembered that Alec shouldn't exert himself after all the healing he had to do, and he backed off; his fingers still tangled in Alec's locks, breathing heavily and looking right into the Shadowhunter's hooded eyes. He smirked at him, and laid down pulling the boy with him. Alex's head was there on his shoulder snuggling happily, and his eyes glued to these of the warlock's conveying his love.

They still had many problems to resolve, they still feared the future, but for now Alec felt secure and he didn't care for anything but his warlock's arms around him. Today everything was peaceful in the confines of their bedroom; today everything was perfect and undisturbed. And that was all they cared for.

_The End_

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><p>AN:Sorry that I made Alec so emotional and OOC ::beats herself::

I know some of you are disappointed that I didn't solve the immortality-mortality problem, but that was not what I had in mind when I started to write The Fickle Visions. I wanted to show what Alec could be feeling and what it could lead to.

In the next few days I will be posting Malec one-shot, so keep an eye out? And in a while I will be starting new multi-chaptered story.

Also, I have sequel for this in mind, but I don't know when I will be able to get it up, because I want to deal with one-shot and the multi-chaptered story first.

I would like to hear your thoughts, and I mean every reader's ones , even if you don't have account, you can leave me honest review.

Thank you for reading, it meant a lot to me!

Emily


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